You know you're in Nebraska when...

you're in a the middle of a crowd of people, all who are dancing to raise money for Children's Hospital, and nearly everyone around you is doing a form of the electric slide that you've never seen before as they sing along to every word of some country tune you maybe recognize. You move off to the side because you feel uncomfortable. "I don't know how to do this. Plus, I'm tired. So I'll just sit this one out." WRONG. Somehow the side of the ballroom I was standing on turned into the middle of the routine and I was kicking my legs and clapping my hands like nobody's business. All in all, now that I can claim I know the dance for Cotton Eye Joe, I'd say dancing 12 hours through the night was probably worth it.

lo lo really did a go go.

one of my best friends moved away last week. since i've had to say goodbye to quite a few people who mean a heck of a lot to me in the recent past, it felt pretty routine. it has been pretty easy to stay connected with the people who mean most to me but there is always a part of me that worries about it. there is a certain bond between some friends that can't really be broken, no matter how distant you are. but then there's always the off chance that you'll lose touch. my relationships with some people have not only continued but have grown and become even more meaningful than before. but there are others that have completely died. ones that i expected to hold on tight to. but as i "grow up" and i live apart from them, i realize that i'm changing and they're changing and we're both just slightly different from what we were before. for the most part, yes, people stay the same but this time in my life is making me into the person i'll be forever. my thoughts, opinions, priorities, worries, and dreams have all shifted (some more than others) in the last year. i don't worry so much that lauren and i will completely lose touch but just that we won't have the opportunity to learn as much from each other because of the distance between us. i learn from each one of my friends but it's so much easier to grow when you are around them. but i suppose the google machine will have to tide me over until we meet again.

Quote it up!

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

--Fr. Alfred D'Souza

As hard as I try not to do things like this, I think interesting thoughts and quotes need to be shared. I shared this once already with someone and think everyone else should read it too. It's simple and there's really not that much to it but it makes so much sense to me. Quite often I find myself daydreaming about this "real life" D'Souza speaks of, wishing and waiting for it to finally begin. It's hard for me to feel like I'm living my real life when I'm not taking classes, when I'm not certain about what is coming next, when I'm really just feeling scared even though I think I'm heading in the right direction. But this is my life; these feelings of uncertainty (among all the other things I'm feeling) are what I will learn and grow from day in and day out.

dean eugene.

yesterday i received a phone call from my dad. it was much like other phone calls from him in that he asked me how i was doing, how work was going, what exciting things might be going on, how my car has been running, things of the sort.

then he asked, "any boys call and ask you on a date?"

my response, "ummm, noooo...?"

"what the heck is wrong with these guys?" he chuckled.

these types of conversations are both encouraging and awkward. not even a second after his last remark regarding the whole katie going on dates topic, i'm pretty sure we were talking about car insurance. phew.

carter's feeling a little off today...

today i woke up feeling a little weird. all my roommates are at school while i sleep in and wait until i go to work. i keep forgetting school actually started and they're finding out what all their new classes are like, what sexy males might be in their classes, if they know anyone, and what their teachers are like. i kind of miss that, to be honest. but lets be real, other than that, i'm not missing much. so what will i do to fill my day?

-probably lay in my bed for a little while longer. it's just so comfy i can't seem to get out.
-shower...it's probably time, my hair is greasy and my feet stank.
-finish up my roll of film and get it developed. i need to see if i'm doing anything right on this new slr.
-pick up a frame at hobby lobby. amber will appreciate that i'm framing the doors of lincoln poster, yes?
-write a card
-alas, go to work.

that should easily fill the day. this post is more of a list of things i need to do rather than entertainment for anyone else and i apologize for that.

more of the same ol'

up until christmas day, feelings of anxiety and doubt filled my mind about the upcoming year. sometimes i feel really great about what i'm doing in my life, other times i feel like i'm failing someone, something or myself. my desire to go to culinary school significantly increased over the last semester. as of a couple months ago, after visiting the school twice, i thought it was just a matter of time before i picked up my things to move to chicago to take classes at le cordon bleu. however, even in the short amount of time since then, more doors are opening and i see more opportunities. i have lots of different options. i could just jump into culinary school, with no real experience at all and cross my fingers that it works out. or i could give it some time. try out a few other things before i do that. or maybe culinary school isn't completely necessary.

after talking to a very close friend of the family, i've learned you can start from the bottom and work your way up. if you work hard enough and truly have the desire to succeed, things will work out. steph stevens, who my dad grew up with and has been around for the holidays ever since i can remember was at our house on christmas. she was the owner of a wonderful little restaurant in pepin, wi called the harbor view cafe. she no longer is an owner but still works for the restaurant. she has invited me to come up to the restaurant to check out a "day in the life" at the restaurant.

since this post is probably already getting close to lengthy i'll just cut to the chase. through other connections steph has, i plan on volunteering at a camp this summer in chelan, wa where this is my backyard. i will work in the kitchen, hopefully learning some of the basics and figuring out if this is something i want to do. i will be phoneless/internetless, surrounded by beauty, taking pictures, hiking, and journaling nonstop.

at this very second, there is no doubt in my mind that i've made the right decisions. i'm heading in the right direction, or at least in some direction. i anxiously await what the future holds.

things could be so much worse.

there are always these moments in my life when i feel really nostalgic. like if i could, i'd go back in time, to my cozy omaha home, where i'd somehow feel more important there than anywhere else. my phone would ring more often, i'd use 10 times as much gas, i'd be familiar with most things in town, i wouldn't have a roommate asking me how work or class was every time i got home, i'd never get bored because someone would always be up for a drive, food or coffee, or a movie, and i could always count on my parents for a home-cooked meal or a nice night around the house.

i'm not sure why i feel so insignificant here. it's hard for me to see if i'm positively influencing the people around me or if i have no impact on anyone but myself. but as the days pass, i realize i'm heading in the right direction. there's something kind of thrilling about feeling small or unimportant, or whatever it is i'm feeling. it makes me want to work harder. as the semester is coming to an end, i'm more excited about my life than i have ever been. it sounds ridiculous because when you look at it, i'm dropping out of school to work in a coffee shop and "figure out my life."

and although i may not have as many close-knit relationships here in lincoln, that's okay. this has been a really important and enjoyable time in my life where i've had to become independent. it's okay that i don't receive as many phone calls, in fact, it's kind of nice. riding my bike and taking the bus is way better than driving and using up gas (and ruining the motha nature!) anyway. exploring lincoln's hidden treasures always provides for a fun time with the people i care about. living in a house with 4 other girls is something i'll never experience again and always having a girl around to talk or watch stupid movies with is something i should take advantage of. and lets be honest, it's about time i start cooking myself s'more home cooked goodness!

i'm trying to teach myself to look at things positively as they are now. there's absolutely no reason for me to be unhappy with my life as it is.