running, returning. on and on it goes.

i leave for washington in 4 days. i wish i could say i'm ready, but i'm not. part of me is excited, yes, but not to the extent i thought i would be. i guess i knew this would happen. i knew i'd build it up to be so amazing and once it came time to actually go, i'd chicken out. i can't really chicken out but i sort of wish i could. i guess i could if i really wanted to. i don't want to. (phew, so many cans, can'ts, coulds and wants.)

i want to go. i want to experience something else. i want to go somewhere i've never been. i want to meet new people. i want to clear my mind. (want is a weird word.) this will be the perfect place to do that. seclusion freaks me out. i like to think i can handle it without any issues, but lets be honest. i'm totally the girl who feels awkward without her phone, and who checks her e-mail and facebook (yep, i said it) regularly. mexico was nice without a phone but it felt good to have some communication with the world through e-mail. that's so lame. i don't need e-mail. i don't need facebook. i can focus on other things while i'm there. i can journal. take photos. learn from the people around me.

i really want to focus on that. i think there's a lot i can learn from other people, even those who i don't see myself becoming super close to. everyone has their own story, their own opinions and i'm interested in getting new aspects on things.

2:08 am
i just had to say bye to amber. she is leaving for peru in the morning. i feel sad. i am not sure when i'll see her again.

i'm going to bed.

hoy.

me pierda mis hermanas.

today.

i feel like this.